Our Voices The Orinam Blog

Felix’s Coming Out Story

Felix talks about his attraction to men in this story.

Finally, I came out 2 my only sister (elder), whom I hav always had as da 1st choice 2 do so… besides knowin dat she’ll
not go chaotic n burst out of rage, ven she comes 2 kno her only brother is “GAY”, n da pressure of bringin an heir 2 da family
is gonna rest solely on her…lol… I decided 2 come out 2 her in a public place, wid da idea in mind dat she cannot go chaotic
n outrageous tho’ if she wanted 2 (a bit more dan cautious n a touch of risk…huh?) … n by da way, she seldom did do ne of dose
resentments energizing me 2 speak more…

It’s was a pleasant evening, but a borin gatherin 2 me as an youngster, ver lot of veterans of various fields hav come
together 4 some thing, which I barely bothered 2 notice. I could also notice here gettin her energy sapped by da aura,
as she started 2 talk 2 me about family issues, ven she took her words along da coast of my life n da marriage… boom,
I jumped as high as I can widthin me smelling da perfect air around, 4 which I was awaitin more dan a year…. She crocked
out her vocal da phrase “ven v would luk 4 a girl 4 u..” I whooped her sayin, wat da hell r u speakin about…”a girl”…….
She camly said, “u want a boy”……. “Absolutely, yeah…” was my exact phrase…. Neither she did panic nor 2 da least she stared
at me… Jus a deep luk, I knew she would act dis way, but not 2 dis degree of it…. Quickly regainin my stand, I acted not 2
give her ne more emanation dan she had….. makin it so simple, der was a hetro-sexual couple, pretty young, among da crowd of
veterans, walkin across da hall, yards away 4m us…. Distractin her attention towards dem, I told her who does catch ur sight
at da 1st place……. da expected answer “boy” was missin. Rather she did say, “did u 4get da idea of me getting married…..?”
ignorin her irony, I whispered 2 her, 4 me, da girl luks as if nowhere, but dat guy is “so sexy, gorgeous n hot” (Guys,
he was really really hot…lol…) no yellin, no freakin, perhaps, she burst out of laughter makin me fell as tiny as an atom,
soon I did realize dat she was not makin a sarcastic laugh ven she said, “it’s 5n, if u don wanna marry a girl, but it’s
all about marryin a guy…. Which in its 1st place needs more thinking n perception…” I was blank… knowin not 2 say nethin
more as gay marriage is still illegal in india, n I’ll lead my life only in India 2 da best of my prejudice.

She wid all might continued, but dis time she had turned in2 a prophet, n literally started 2 preach, she quoted Leviticus 4m
da old testament till revelation in da new testament… sayin nowhere it said dat “homo-sexuality is allowable 2 practice
wid no sin”, she kept fixating on da fact dat it’s “abomination” n nothing more accordin 2 da bible.. N bein Christians …. She
said, “u can neither practice it, nor can I back u up, as v kno it’s wrong, n da bible says it’s more offensive ven u do an
known-mistake dan da unknown…” she didn’t b an orthodox in her words, neither my family is 2 some levels… v called off da
discussion after an hour n an half of its commencement wid me tellin her dat “homo-sexuality is jus a sexual disorder”, which
is none’s choice, n it sound so pervert as da st8s sex is so called “conventional”… she answered I’ll read more abt dis…. I
wisphered widin me… “I hav 2 row my ass down 2 find counters in da bible”….. Christ help me..!

Obviously, I don wanna comply wid her “abomination” crap…. Man, if at all, I do, wonder could I turn st8…?!.. How hilarious
is it jus as thought..?… bein a poor visitor of da “holy bible” I’ve got nothin 4m dat 2 counter her…….

So my beloved folks, ne thoughts (not necessarily 4m da bible)….I gotta win over her 2 win my life….

PS: wish my sister hasn’t been a Christian… 2 da least, let her catch-up wid “selective-amnesia” 2 4get abt bein a christain….
lol…

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  1. There is something about this story which makes me believe not all indians are prejudiced by nature as it is felt. You are lucky to have a sister like that. Even though that abomination stuff felt funny, it should really helped you feel relieved that someone close to you knows the real you

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