she leaves for work
before i do

and every morning
i stand on
the porch
with my coffee
and watch
her car
pull out
of the driveway

doing all i can
not to wave
not to blow her a kiss
not to be obvious

and she always
turns
and looks
before she
disappears from
my sight

this morning
my eyes wouldn’t
let go
i ran
to the kerb
so i could watch
her for longer

and my neighbour
across the street
elderly man
his wife died
last year
smiled at me
and called out
don’t worry
she’ll be back

i think he
gets it
now

tomorrow
maybe
i’ll dare
to hug her
on our porch

---

(c) 1999 desinorse/Jaya, from the khush list. Reproduced with permission