Our Voices The Orinam Blog

Being a Transexual

Image source: Apsara Reddy

I recently met a man who, on our first date, tried to connect with me via all the nonsense that he has been through with his ex! I really didn’t think that was a good way to charm me. First, he assumed I have had a painful past and would relate to his misery. Pain is the last thing I’d like you to think of when you think of me. There’s far more to me than sob stories of living under the radar and I’m sure that men are much more interesting than to focus on life’s bad points and brood over bad relationships…

Think about it: how many things are you in life? Are you an icon? A responsible son? A steamy dream of tantalizing sensuality? A fleeting glimpse of something more? Transexuals are some of the most vibrant and warm people you could ever meet. I’m a newspaper’s senior editor, a broadcast journalist, a human rights activist, brand ambassador, dancer, political lobbyist, a bundle of love and all this on top of being a glowing example of how living in the third gender can be a gift if you marry your aptitude and intelligence. And that’s only right now! When I think of all the things I’ve yet to give to this world, my eyes roll up in delight for the joy of being alive.

So PAIN is the LAST THING you should associate with me. Yes every transsexual goes through a battle to relate her personal feelings to the society and often to his/her own family. But certainly that is what makes us that much stronger and wholesome. Atleast we take on the mental conditioning of society, feel a lot more liberated and question suppression. And being a Transexual for me is not about the glamour or the awe-struck compliments from sleazy men. Its about being ME!

Growing up in a secure and sensitive family I have always learnt to reach out and also look within. And at every step of the way I identified as a female. There was a phase when I thought I was gay. But am not. I feel like a woman – inclined to family, marriage, decent career, achieving personal goals and engaging as positively as I can with society.

It’s not a disease, a condition, an infection, or an illness. Some say it’s a mental disorder, but I find it ironic that a mental disorder can be cured by cosmetic enhancements. One thing I can say and agree on is: it’s a journey and a rocky one at that – but certainly not painful if you envision the outcome.

I also comprehend that being a transsexual is no easy thing in a world where women are still fighting for their rights and people have innate beliefs(sometimes warped) of equality and inferiority. It’s not easy to ask others to accept you as you are when you can’t even do that yourself. So it’s important for one to be secure in themselves first and come-out to one;s self first. Family plays such a huge part in a transsexual’s life.

And to have that acceptance and embrace of family beats any validation in the world.

I’m not demanding you drop your religious text, or your psychology book and immediately embrace the truth that we are everything we say we are. I’m not asking you to believe us when we say things. I’m asking you to step back, withdraw from the world for a moment and drop the gender roles. Ignore the fact that there are homosexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals and polysexuals out there. Ignore the fact that we are Asian and European, American and Australian. Withdraw from your beliefs and just look at the truth of the matter. Can’t you see how they feel in their eyes? Take a moment to look at their souls, not their flaws.

Being transexual is wrongly considered a mental disorder, is painful, and can tear families apart, but it doesn’t have to be. You can change that. Live a safe life and spread your wings and fly! Show the world you’re powerful, strong, determined and capable.

God Bless

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  1. Wow! Very inspiring and thought provoking. We definitely need to hear more stories and views like this. Kudos to Apsara Reddy. Thanks for sharing.

  2. thanks apsara.
    i think that you are a strong person-mentally. i admire the way you talk about yourself without self pity.
    we are what we are.
    1.each of us has to accept oneself, negatives and positives
    2. love oneself
    3.be comfortable in our own skins.
    the above can make you stand up of yourself.
    we need approval from a very few to make our life a joy, let the rest of the world pass by.

    as for the guy you met talking about himself, good riddance as most probably he was up his own arse!

  3. Very well said Ms.Apsara Reddy. You have really said the truth of what life should be like. Kudos and wishing you SUCCESS always in the journey of life.

  4. Attidute!! Attitude what has set you apart! It’s your strength as well as your tool to success :). Please keep your good work going and inspire many lives in your own journey of this life. Good luck Apsara,

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