Coming Out Stories

http://orinam.net/resources-for/lgbt/coming-out-2/coming-out-stories/

Here are some coming out stories from LGBT people in India, many from the MP group associated with Orinam.  As you read the essays linked below, remember that the coming out process is likely to vary tremendously depending on your age, gender, family circumstances and economic independence, environment and experiences as an immigrant, second-generation (or later) member of the diaspora, or as a resident in your country of origin.

We hope that the following accounts inspire you in your journey, and encourage you to send in your experiences to us. Experiences of coming out post-377 are especially welcome.

• First Generation Queer South Asian Immigrant Rant (2/10/2021) - Coming out is not a one time thanksgiving dinner table announcement but a recurring repetitive struggle that can be dreadfully frightening for some. We are shedding our skin in baby steps!
• Out, Proud and Liberated: Reflections of a former officer in the Indian Army (7/1/2020) - Major J. Suresh (ret'd) reflects on his coming out journey, motivated by General Rawat's homophobic statements around gay people in the Indian Army.
• [podcast] Colours of Pride: A Talk on Gender, Sex and Sexuality (6/29/2020) - Podcast of June 20, 2020 panel discussion on gender-sex-sexuality, organised by rYMS and Orinam on Insta Live.
• “My mother’s smile is as warm as before and I am still my father’s Chinnu”: Alok’s coming out story (1/1/2020) - ... in which Alok reveals his ultimate secret to his parents before he turns 30.
• The Price I Paid for Being Myself (10/27/2019) - Dr Aqsa Shaikh reflects on what she lost when she decided to transition.
• Chennai: Summer of 2004 (12/25/2018) - Ani recalls the summer of 2004 and his first brush with Orinam.
• Standing Out (9/30/2017) - We must focus on how we can be better humans: not what someone wears or who they sleep with.
• visiBIlity (10/12/2016) - It took me 27 years to admit I wasn't straight.
• The biggest exam of my life: Bubbly comes out to family in Chennai (3/5/2016) - Bubbly writes to her parents and sister in Chennai, explaining why she cancelled her engagement.
• ‘The smartphone freed me’: a journey of dating as a transwoman (8/19/2015) - In which Nadika describes how Second Life, a smart phone, and dating sites helped her explore dating as a transwoman.
• Coming Out Late, Coming Clean (5/6/2015) - Purush comes out to his parents, wife, close relatives and friends through this letter.
• Gender fluidity: my experiences and ideas (11/6/2014) - To those who insist on me mentioning a label, I usually say “genderfluid”. parts
• Sex Change in the Time of Saffron Politics (10/22/2014) - Sex change is my farewell to 23 years of being, trying to be, pretending to be and for days to come, trying to give being a chance.
• South Asian, Married, and Queer? Seeking submissions (10/12/2014) - Orinam invites submissions in the form of essays, stories, interviews and poems by South Asian LGB cispeople in marriages to individuals of the other sex, by trans individuals in marriages they entered into (or were forced into) based on their gender assigned at birth, and by spouses of such queer/trans people.
• Coming out to my dad (8/3/2014) - Shankar Ganesh describes how he came out to his father.
• Video: Dealing With Family – குடும்பத்தினரை சமாளிப்பது எப்படி? (2/10/2014) - In this hangout, some of Orinam's members who are gay, talk about how they dealt with their family members post coming out.
• Curtains: short film by Nakshatra, 2013 (7/21/2013) - Watch the short film 'Curtains’ by Mumbai-based filmmaker Nakshatra.
• Yes, I am (5/5/2013) - Prashanth recounts his personal journey over the past year: a year that has given him confidence to accept who he is, confidence to drop plans of marriage to a girl, and confidence to come out to a really close friend.
• Dykotomy: growing up lesbian in India (2/3/2013) - I lived in Chennai, India, for 23 years. I’ve never been in the closet. Well, not really. I’ve always been butch — short hair, boys’ clothes, a gentleman’s manner, and of course, a way with the ladies. But in India, not being in the closet doesn't necessarily mean being out of it.
• My Bisexual Story: Suri (1/27/2013) - Suryatapa, a college student, writes about growing into her bisexual identity.
• Ancy and Andy (7/22/2012) - I read my sister's diary entries about her feelings of confusion, desire and guilt mixed with her overbearing desire to be faithful to God. Her death has taught me the importance of being honest to myself.
• Acceptance and Denial (7/15/2012) - One year after coming out to her parents as trans, Brenda still finds them in denial and hoping she will return to being their son.
• Video: I am Trans (4/27/2012) - Playwright and performer Deen shares his story in this truly amazing video. Deen is a transman of South Indian origin.
• It Gets Better – Cummins Inc, USA (11/11/2011) - It Gets Better video from Cummins Inc, USA. Video includes Sameer Samudra from India.
• It Gets Better – Sarav Chidambaram (10/27/2011) - In this video, Sarav Chidambaram talks about his journey from a confused kid to a successful Gay man.
• Brenda’s letter to her parents [coming out as trans] (8/27/2011) - Brenda, a member of the MP mailing list, is a scientist from Chennai, currently pursuing advanced research in Germany. She is in the process of transitioning from male to female. In this letter Brenda comes out at a transwoman to her parents.
• Ganesh’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2009) - In this essay Ganesh talks about his attraction to men and his concerns around the reactions his parents might face from relatives and society
• Velu’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2009) - Velu talks about his attraction to men in this story.
• Shri’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2009) - Shri writes about how he came out to his parents and how they reacted hearing the big news that their son is Gay.
• Vijay’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2008) - Vijay talks about his attraction to men in this story.
• Anil’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2008) - Anil talks about his attraction to men in this story.
• Menon’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2008) - Menon talks about her attraction to both men and women in this story.
• Sundar’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2008) - Sundar talks about his attraction to men in this story.
• Praveen’s Coming Out Story (10/8/2008) - Praveen talks about his attraction to men in this story.
• Aniruddhan’s Coming Out Story (12/15/2005) - Aniruddhan talks about his attraction to men in this story.

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