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23 Comments

  1. Very nicely written! I wish we could somehow drive this message into the heads of more and more men. There are very few people who understand the connection between expecting women to do household chores as a “natural duty” and rape. Both of these are part of the same spectrum designed to show women their “place” in society. You have managed to bring it out really well. Kudos to you!

    1. Great Job, Buddy!
      I can’t speak for others but I have adopted most of what you have talked about in my life and I am proud of it. I am proud of it not because I perform the chores but because I can clearly see now how these things should have been right from the beginning.

      Big part of our problem is our parents! We have seen our mothers cook, clean and please our fathers every day. Our mothers remained silent when our fathers got mad. And that’s exactly what we were taught directly or indirectly. And when we think about marriage, we think of someone like our mothers who will cook and clean for us.

      Thanks to globalization which has helped me mend my thoughts and actions. When I got out of the comfort of my home and started living on my own in a foreign country, I could see life from a different perspective. I started appreciating what my mom did for me when I realized how freaking difficult it is to get ONE meal a day! I used to get three meals a day and I used to get mad and shout at her even if there was a delay of 5 minutes. What an asshole, I was!

      My wife has really helped me to understand these issues and she has been very patient with me I think. Thanks to her for making me a better man!

      Girls and Moms – please educate your friends and family! It’s a lot more effective that way!

  2. I admire you so much Mr.balaji .You have done a great job .many speeches are going around the country ,hope this one will change minds of some and make them to feel that we are doing is something wrong.peace my friend .you have done your part well .

  3. Very well said Balaji. A man defines what a woman should be is like a “Dog defining how a cat should behave”. I a believer of Maru Janmam. What will the ‘Proud’ men of our society do if they are born as woman in their next janmam?! (I wonder)

  4. If there is one man in the entire planet who has inspired me, it’s him. Patriarchy binds both men and women within certain gender roles; which means that it gives neither the complete freedom to be what they choose. Usually it is only women fighting against such roles. But to find a man who can be such a free-thinker as to abide by the rules set by his independent and intelligent mind, is awe-inspiring. I am amazed, and I salute him. Change begins at home, and he got that right.

  5. Balaji, I think half the women in the country want to marry you, and the other half wonder if you’re for real.

    In a country where most men behave like over-indulged children at home, its refreshing to hear a man speak so forcefully about the need to evolve more equitable gendered expectations. I’ve never understood why its considered masculine to avoid domestic chores.

    In my opinion, a man who cannot handle domestic chores is yet to achieve complete adulthood. A fully functioning adult should be competent in all spheres of life, domestic, professional and emotional and psychological.

    Rigid gender roles prevent both genders from achieving their full human potential.

    Being self-sufficient

  6. an article that needs to be published in every newspaper in india on their front page.
    i watch indian home-made porn videos and ashamed to read the comments/headings of some of them. these are the same indian porn videos that are watched by millions of indian men and i guess that many uneducated or immature indian men identify with these images as to ‘what indian men do for sex’ and ‘how to treat indian women’ . regular use of the words ‘rape’ and ‘bitch’.these should be banned!

  7. It is not only the man.. It is other women as well who judge.. If a man helps his wife, the other men sense the threat coming from his spouse. The male survival instincts come out and he will try to ‘highlight’ the other mans help and put the girl in a bad light.. diff scales for man starts from office and comes all the way down to house. I also laugh, when men say thay gave freedom to their wife. what do they mean by freedom ‘given’? Reminds me of zoo… Freedom in mens mind is the limit to which they allow their women.. The limit varies between each male, but is decided by men. Ultimately every male thinks they are ‘fair and square’… Fair and square to their own needs!!!!!We still are not there where a women recognised for what she is worth..

  8. wow, amazing words. Great work guys. Hope v hear these words from every guy in coming fututre

  9. hats off mr.balaji.thanks for talking fr us.if all the men in the world may think lyk u means nthng wrng ill happn to girls.we all love ur speech.u rockkkzzzz.keep gng.

  10. Fantastic Balaji if all men think like u their will no discrimination between men and women hat off

  11. Very well said, R J Balaji. And I know the impact such a man can have in a woman’s and child’s life because my Husband is like this. We share responsibilities equally irrespective of the chore – bathing our Son, getting him ready to school, working with the cook on the menu for the day, taking the car for servicing or fixing an electric snag at home. You see, the chore in hand doesn’t care if the job is being done by a man or woman.