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Video: Dealing With Family – குடும்பத்தினரை சமாளிப்பது எப்படி?

Velu and Sundar

Hope you enjoyed watching our previous hangout video Growing up Gay and Tamil, where our members talked about realizing their sexuality and coming out.

In this hangout, some of Orinam’s members who are gay talk about how they dealt with their family members post-coming out (Language: Tamil)

இந்த ஹங்அவுட்டில் ஓரினம் அமைப்பை சேர்ந்த சில தன்பாலீர்ப்பு கொண்ட அங்கத்தினர்கள், தங்கள் குடும்பத்த்தினரை சமாளித்த அனுபவங்களை பற்றி பேசுகிறார்கள்.

பகுதி 1/Part 1:

பகுதி 2/Part 2:

This post is also available in: தமிழ் (Tamil)

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  1. You guys have no idea, how much of a splendid resource you are all to the gay community. Have soooooooooooo much respect for all four of you. Where were u guys all these years? MY SALUTE. A BIG one. Each one of your life experiences are different and i think that is what makes your videos interesting, encouraging, and captivating. And you have a great connect with people like me. Keep doing great work, and keep more videos coming. And i am pretty sure, your fan base is building.

    PS. Velu and Sundar make a very cute couple. God bless. 🙂

  2. பிரவீன் அவர்கள் அடுத்த தலைமுறையினருக்கு முன் உதாரணமாக விளங்க வேண்டும் என்று அறிமுகத்தில் அழகாய் சொன்னார். எனினும் பிரவீன் தம்பிக்கு வயது இன்னும் அதிகம் ஆகவில்லை என்று எண்ணுகிறேன். இந்த தலைமுறையில் உள்ளவர்கள் இந்த காணொளி வழி பயன்பெறுவார்கள் என்பது திண்ணம். அடுத்த தலைமுறையினர் சமூக மாற்றத்தினால் சமநிலையும், சகிப்பும் கொண்டு வளர வேண்டும் என்பது தான் அனைவரின் அவாவும். குடும்பம் என்பது அன்பின் அடிப்படையில் அமைந்த அழகாய் துணை நிற்கும் கட்டமைப்பு என்பதை உங்கள் மூவரின் கலந்துரையாடல்கள் வெளிகொணர்கிறது . சுந்தர் அவர்களின் அனுபவம் நம் சமூகத்தில் பாலியல் அடிப்படையில் ஆரோக்கியமான புரிதலும் கலந்துரையாடலும் இல்லாத நிதர்சன உண்மையை தெளிவுபடுத்துகிறது. அனைத்திற்கும் மேலாக உங்கள் அனைவரின் தமிழ் சொல்லாடலும், முதுமொழிகளை கையாண்ட விதமும், எளிய நடையில் உரையாடியமையும் பாராட்டிற்கு உரியது தோழர்களே!

    1. கண்ணகி, அய்யோ!!!! என்ன தமிழ்!!! அழகு அழகு.

  3. Thankachchi’s support for Anna very touching!
    All you guys are sweet! Good job with this wonderful hangout!
    Keep up your good work and I am sure it will support all the rest of those who need support to live their desire!

  4. Listening to the podcasts, I am reminded of a sad song. I usually sing a Meerabhai song stemming out of her unconventional love outside her wedding, with the divine, which deeply portrays pains of different forms. It starts like, “He ree mein to prem diwani.. mero dard na jane koi’ Here is an attempt to translate the song in Thamizh. I confess here that I am no poet! Not accurate in understanding the language of the original. Real poets and lyricists can chisel it and make it a diamond. I seek your pardon for errors – if many!!!

    நானோ அன்பின் அடிமை – எந்தன்
    வலியை உணர்வார் இல்லை
    அந்த வலியை அறிந்தோர்… அதன் வலிமை புரிந்தோர் – வலியுணர்வாரில்லை…
    (நானோ)

    சூலங்கள் மீது என் படுக்கை கிடந்தால்
    உறக்கம் கொள்வது ஏது?
    விண் மண்டலத்தில் என் அன்பனின் படுக்கை – எவ்விதம் சந்திப்பதோ? (நானோ)

    காயத்தின் நிலை காயமடைந்தோர் காயமே அறியுமன்றோ!
    நகை வடிவெடுக்கும் முன் பொன் படும் பாடு – நகையன்றி யார் அறிவாரோ?
    (or) தியாகியாய் வாழ்வதன் கதியரிந்தோர் தியாகம் செய்பவரன்றோ! (நானோ)

    வலியே மழையாய் சூழும்போது ஒதுங்கிட நிழலும் ஏது?
    மீராவின் பிரபு! வலி ஒழியும் என் அன்பன் மருத்துவன் ஆனால், (நானோ)

      1. Kannagi Ilamar: Could you please contact us via the contact page? Your Tamil is brilliant and we would love it, if you would consider contributing to our website. thanks a bunch.

  5. Thanks for all the sweet comments Vinodh, கண்ணகி இளமலர் (என்ன அருமையான தமிழ் பெயர்!), sutha and Shankar! It is very motivating to read your heartfelt feedback.

    Shankar — அருமையான மொழிபெயர்ப்பு ! ஏனோ பூங்குழலியின் (பொன்னியின் செல்வன்) பாட்டு ஞாபகம் வருகிறது :

    “அலைகடலும் ஓய்ந்திருக்க அகக் கடல்தான் பொங்குவதேன்?
    நிலமகளும் துயிலுகையில் நெஞ்சகந்தான் பதைப்பதுமேன்?
    காட்டினில் வாழ் பறவைகளும் கூடுகளைத் தேடினவே!
    வேட்டுவரும் வில்லியரும் வீடு நோக்கி ஏகுவரே
    வானகமும் நானிலமும் மோனமதில் ஆழ்ந்திருக்க
    மான்விழியாள் பெண்ணொருத்தி மனத்தில் புயல் அடிப்பதுமேன்?
    வாரிதியும் அடங்கி நிற்கும் மாருதமும் தவழ்ந்து வரும்
    காரிகையாள் உளந்தனிலே காற்றுச் சுழன் றடிப்பதுமேன்?”

  6. @Vinodh, Shankar, Sutha, Kannagi Ilamar: Thanks for watching and commenting 🙂 Your kind words are very encouraging and we derive strength from them. Cyber hugs to all of you!

  7. Hi guys, it was very nice to watch. Brought smile in many occasions. It was so down to earth and very ‘relate’-able. Shows that when we oust all our fears and come out to our parents, they are going to accept and support us anyway, however gradual and slow it may be. Like Sundar said, the distant relatives and society are not even going to pay current bill, so why bother?!
    Please do more of these videos. And you asked ideas about it no? well, i will drop in any, if i get some, but even if there was no topic or no issue, Praveen you can speak for hours and i will watch 😛
    Shri is charming as always. and Velu and Sundar are such a beautiful and lucky couple.
    Thanking You 🙂
    regards,
    Alan Turing

  8. Hiee Guyss, It was really nice to watch, very heart melting..First of all, salute for yr courage guyss.. Many times i had thiss thought .. that, somebody need to speak up bout the LGBT community.. Atleast, finally u guyss made it.. I hope, thiss videos will make some realization on our community people.. true love has be rewarded, gender should not be a cross beam for love.. Do more videos, speak from many aspects.. I hope, soon u guyss will be accepted by everyone… very sooon..GUD LUCK 😀
    Sundar : Dont worry bout yr dad, i will pray for you today.. with godss grace he will accept u n velu very soon..
    ( I really like u, yr voice and yr tamil )
    Velu : u’re really cute 😀 Sundar should be very lucky..Have a good goood life guyss..
    GOD BLESS YOU ALL

  9. Hello my dear guys, my hearty prayers for all of u .May God shower the best health and wealth to all of u .I saw ur videos both and I felt that God was giving me new experience of His creation. Really I was ignorant . Your conversations were splendid! I feel u r all my sons ! Very matured guys.I have high regards for u all.

  10. I belong to a village. But not quite confident to live my life. By watching all the videos I was so happy to hear some confident words. I still worry that these issues would be very hard to explain to non-educated people, and of course, parents. Thanks to all of you. May I please to know can I be your friend and how since I feel very lonely?

    Thanks

  11. Dear all,

    I am Subeesh Kumar. I am gay. First of all hats off to Mr.Praveen, Sri, Velu and Sundar. I have seen the video by all of you Really, it gives an additional power to me..

    I am basically a Engineering graduate from CEG, Anna University (2004 Passed out) presently working with a private company as a Sr Business Planner for the past 4 years.

    I did not reveal myself as gay to any of my Family / Friends I don’t have the guts to do so. My parents are no more I am sure my remainin immediate family members (Elder Brother and Uncle) cannot withstand this …

    I became aware of my sexuality at the age of 13. From that time onwards until now I have faced too many confusions, too much teasing, too many hard days, too many episodes of crying and sleepless nights. Even now, these are continuing, now atleast the rate of frequency is reduced

    But I have a sort of thinking that I should be much ahead in my professional career than all these people who hurt me a lot. I am really happy with my professional career, though I still need to grow.

    But in personal life – there is a big Question mark. So far I managed with my family members by postponing my marriage. Now really things are getting critical. At the same time I cannot expose myself (sexuality) to them all of sudden.

    I decided to lead my life alone as much as I can. After seeing your videos, I got more hope that at least I can share my feelings with you as friend. I need to live my life with joy. I am very much clear in one point – that my personal problems should not affect my professional career. I love my job / profession because it gives a support to stand independently.

    Really, I want to be your friend. Please accept me as your friend, so that your friendship will give me more good support / positive energy for me to move forward. If possible please share your contact numbers.

    Please do reply to this mail id..so that it gives me more strength..

    I am looking forward to receive your reply.

    Thank you my dear friends,
    Yours,
    Subeesh Kumar G

  12. very inspiring stories of each..I feel the freedom i will be getting by watching these videos..keep posting

  13. Thanks for ur video. You all Tamil is very gud.previously I don’t know about this website. I mostly watch English videos. It’s difficult to understand their feel. Their life style is different. They not focused much about this topics. Other language gay sites just makes other to hoop up gays only for sexual need. Thanks for this website. Please update more videos. I have more confusion. I traveled very critical situations. Now I am getting relaxed. Just with in some two years I will get stable. I want to Learn more about homosexuality. And life of others how they identify their own self to society. Still the date I want to have gud gay friends but I surf web’s there they just need enjoyment and disappointing

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